Sunday, August 31, 2008

Screw You

I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna survive living with her until January. Seriously, its one of the most increasingly toxic and hazardous relationships I've ever been in--the relationship with my mom.

Not setting a great tone, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Basically, I'm annoyed for a couple of reasons: Her boyfriend is SO awkward and doesn't know how to have a conversation with me that doesn't involve giving me lame 18th century advice, she is way too lovey dovey with him and it makes me feel awkward, I heard them having sex in the beginning of the summer and now I can't get that out of my mind when I see them together, I am a selfish only child who wants my mom all to myself, she changes when she's around him, he's not my dad, my mom and I have managed just fine for the past 20 years, he gives me the sloppiest kisses on the cheek, yea...

So last night, she informed me that he was coming over and of course, I did the usual and texted all my friends to see if they wanted to hang out. Lucky for me, the majority of my friends are at college and the ones who ARE is NYC were plastered when I got a hold of them. Not a good look.

Mission failed.

So I resorted to my juvenile habit of locking myself in my room. I don't know why I'm so opposed to their relationship, but I just really don't feel comfortable around him. Soooo I stayed in my room--watched tv, talked on the phone, blogged...did all the normal technology shit.

I did not leave my room all night. Not only that, but I also avoided them this morning.

Bad move.

Now my mom is "disgusted," "pissed off," and "embarrassed" because of my behavior last night/this morning. I do want to apologize because I am sorry, but my pride won't allow me. She's not really very accepting of apologies anyway.

So what do I do when she's mad? I fight back.

That blew out of control and now we're both pissed off at each other. Luckily, this time I DO have an escape plan and I'm about to head downtown. Right now,I'm about to get a dose of my personal stress relief, aka the BEST FRO YO IN THE WORLD. Only available in NYC and CA, but if you live in either of those areas, you gotta go. Then party. Too many parties goin on tonight in celebration of Labor Day weekend that I can't pass up.

We fight so much these days that my body has developed its own coping technique - numbing itself. Literally, I am so numb to our arguments that I barely try to fight back nor do I take our arguments that seriously.

It's a hot mess.

On another note, I found some more updates on Governor Palin and her grimy ways, via

"On March 5th, 2008 Alaska's Republican Governor, Sarah Palin, announced to the media that she was 7 months pregnant with her 5th child. She is currently 44. Palin”s daughter Bristol is 16 and attends an Anchorage high school. Students who have attended class with her report that she has been out of school for months, claiming a prolonged case of mono. Palin does not appear pregnant in any recent photographs. The announcement came as quite a shock to people who had worked closely with her, and have been quoted as saying that she did not appear pregnant whatsoever during the prior 7 months."

So basically Governor Palin is trying to cover up her daughters 7 month pregnancy by saying that she herself is pregnant so she won't ruin her holier-than-thou image. Didn't some shit like this go down on Desperate Housewives?


Now that's a hot mess.

Thats all for now.

Saturday, August 30, 2008



Do NOT think that McCain is a saint because he chose a woman as his running mate!


Who is this mysterious Sarah Palin?

Lets find out:

  • She was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla (pop: 9,000 people) , a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.
  • Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest
    • She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000.
    • Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.
    • She's doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.
    • She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.
    • How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.
Her true colors are GLEAMIN right now.

Just when I thought McCain was my favorite republican, he goes and pulls some scary shit like this.

Don't let it happen! YES WE CAN!

Cry Me a River

Crying. Its like going to the gym. Its a painful process to start but you feel so relieved when you're done.

After driver's ed, I walked in on my mom watching Pay It Forward. It has Helen Hunt, that kid from the sixth sense, and another famous actor who I forget right now. Its a great movie that basically talks about spreading the love. Its based on the premise that if you do a kind deed for three people and tell them to pay it forward by doing kind deeds for three other people, the chain continues expanding until, hypothetically, everyone is doing kind deeds for everyone else. Super utopian, but awesome idea.

Anyways, I won't spoil the ending, but something happens and even though my mom has seen this movie 83473080 times, she starts crying BAWLING. I mean holding your throat, getting choked up, snot nose bawling. A box of tissues and a laugh is the normal remedy, but it still confuses me every time it happens. Maybe she's just REALLY in touch with her emotions and I'm not. Or maybe she's just a big baby, and I'm not. Either way, it still baffles me that some sort of upsetting visual stimulation, or an elevation in the voice, or a violent interaction can put your tear ducts in full gear.

Think about it, even from birth, we know that by crying we will automatically warn those around us that something is wrong.
How do babies know that?
Why is their instinct to cry when they come out of the womb? Why not laugh? Or burp? Why cry? I dunno. Emotions are so cool to me, especially crying.

Crying is also infectious. Like yawning. I usually cry when I come into contact with someone who is crying. For example: my freshman year of high school was very dramatic. I went to boarding school and one of the girls who lived next door to me was notorious for cutting. So we (some of the other girls in my dorm) had to meet with the guidance counselor and give her some insight as to what was going on with this girl. All of the sudden, everyone in the room starts telling their own battles with depression and the entire room was in tears. I have never dealt with anyone who cuts nor have I done it myself, but just by seeing them cry (and hearing their stories), I started crying as if I could relate. Madness!

I did a little research on tears. Wikipedia says that "The parasympathetic branch of the autonomic system controls the lacrimal glands via the neurotransmitter acetylcholine through both the nicotinic and muscarinic receptors. When these receptors are activated, the lacrimal gland is stimulated to produce tears." I think its saying that we have nerves which control our tear glands and we trigger them whenever we encounter intense emotion (happiness, pain, sadness, etc.). Since theyre muscles, our bodies are automatically trained to trigger the glands if need be.

- people who claim that they can make themselves cry are not actually forcing their glands to produce tears, but rather, they can control their emotions and recall past memories that can make them cry.

RANDOM SIDE NOTE: All the people that I know who CAN cry on cue, pride themselves on never crying. They also have pretty rough pasts and I guess they promised themselves that they would never cry again (i.e. my grandma). Therefore, I would assume that crying on cue would be easy for them for two reasons:
  1. They never cry, therefore their tear glands will work without effort since the glands are probably bursting at the seams with unused tears
  2. Since they have a rough past and they ignore those emotions, REvisiting those emotions will be pretty traumatic, hence, immediate tears.
*Disclaimer: This is just my theory. All oppositions are welcome.

Wow. This shit is cool. Thanks for the inspiration, mom :)

Expecto Petronum

I'm sitting on the couch watching "Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix" with my mom. Yes, this is how I chose to spend my Friday evening/ Saturday morning. Don't judge

Once upon a time, I gave into the Harry Potter hype. Not one to read much outside of what was assigned in school, the thought of reading such an intimidating novel was daunting (Disclaimer: each book is HUGE). But truthfully, I figured that since everyone else was reading it, it might be worth the time investment. So I began. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone and it was bloody brilliant.

Slowly, I managed to persuade those around me to get into it. I lent out my books, bought them for people as gifts, and turned my mom into a believer. She ended up being more sucked into the land of Witchcraft and Wizardry then the average cape-bearing 12 year old. I actually caught her crying, in her bed,while reading the last one.

The thing is, as pathetic as that reaction may seem to the naked eye, its rather a clear example of how powerful these books are. Due to laziness and several other distractions, I only read up to the middle of the forth one: Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. My knowledge of Harry Potter past that point has all been based upon the movies.

My mom, being a true die-hard fan, bought the collectors edition of all the Harry Potter films on DVD. This collection includes interactive games, bookmarks, bonus features, and more. Expensive is an understatement, but its worth it. With each book, comes more struggles, more adventures and more plot twists, making each movie get better and better. Some critics say they don't like the "dark turn" the films have taken, which is the fault of no one except for the change in directors, but I strongly disagree. Yes, the first movie was more a family film where 5+ children would be happily entertained. And yes, the rating did seem to become more PG-13, R-ish as they progressed, but by no means is that a negative thing.

Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix is one of the best movies I have ever seen: thematically and visually. Thematically it touches upon several points: the obvious-good v. evil, adolescence, questioning authority/what you're told, friendship, leadership, control of the mind and body, trust, distrust, deception, murder, loss, optimism :) , wrong impressions, loneliness, etc. Visually, it, by far, can be up there with movies like Pan's Labyrinth, Transformers and Wanted. I think it can surpass them. Why? Because these special effects have nothing to do with reality. I know that sounds obvious, since they are special effects, but they explore a completely different reality.

Harry Potter is the definition of innovative.

Seriously. Expecto Petronum. Like, what the fuck is that? It is a spell. It's spell that you say to fight off dementors. What does it mean? It means to expel your happiest thoughts, therefore, killing the dementors with positivity. Its brilliant. Its original. Its definitely innovative. These books are filled with cool shit like this. She thinks of the most captivating ways to bring us into her world of magic. That is a hard task to accomplish. Usually your imagination is hard to convey to those who aren't in your head. Thats what makes a great fiction writer, because they are so loquacious that they can fully describe their imagination to a stranger and still manage to be cohesive and captivating. J.K. Rowling invented this entire intricate world, with government, rules and regulations, an education system, and a maximum security prison, and managed to clearly depict it to her fellow readers.

Her descriptions are so vivid and inspiring that movies were created, and each director managed to transfer her words to the silver screen.

People always say that the books are better than the movies. People like having the ability to have their own interpretation as oppose to being told what to think, hence why books are better-they leave room for imagination. Me on the other hand, I prefer the visual aspect. I am a visual learner and I stay true to the title. Don't get me wrong, I love books, but sometimes my imagination is too complicated and too intense for me to handle sometimes. I need a little structure and movies def provide that.

With that said, I loved this movie. It was the best Harry Potter film yet. Please see it.

That was the point of my story.

Sorry for the abrupt ending. I'm sleepy.

Here's a little bit of HP humor for the evening...

Shout out to my fellow Georgetown RAs :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Reinvention (n.)

Thank you, Miss Gideon, for putting me on to the 21st century.

As technologically savvy as I proclaim to be, that too is not the complete truth, or else I would have started this shit along time ago. Too often do people (myself included) have a falsified image of themselves, when in actuality, we are lamer than we think. Pessimistic, I am not. Realistic, perhaps. Optimistic, I declare. Once again, a falsified image. Vicious cycle that I am hoping to break.

In the spirit of reinvention, I am determined to make a conscience effort to reinvent. College was not such a good look this year, resulting in a decision to take a semester off. Not one to quit or to delay completion, this was a hard decision to reach, but I rarely do what is best for me and I finally decided to put my foot down. My priorities were skewed, my intentions were wrong, and social consumed academic, gearing me off the route that I planned to take when I got to college: getting a degree. Duh. Money, time, and precious brain cells were wasted and now I'm home trying to get my shit together.

Only have I now reached the point of realization. My friends are all in college right now, and I am here. Unemployed and bored. Not a good place to be. Was my decision a good one? I have yet to discover....

I can go on forever. I swear its a genetic trait. My family does not know the meaning of quiet or politically correct, and I am a quintessential product of my environment. That's why my mom always suggested a diary, so I can write down my thoughts and try to make them concise. Time passed, diaries were written in, but only one entry in each. Up-keep is not my thing.

However, keep in mind that I TRULY AM a product of my environment. Addicted to facebook? Yes. AIM? Yes. Video chat? Yes. Texting? Yes. I'm totally consumed by the current technological pop stars and I am proud of it. Staying true to that, blogging seemed like the perfect outlet. The use of technology and the 1st amendment? Sign me up!

And here I am.

Stay tuned...