just when you think....

...its all good, it turns out that its not.

yea i know its been a while. i've been kinda focused and kinda preoccupied with my personal life to make time for blogging, but i could use the therapy. speaking of therapy -maybe the fact that i haven't hollered at emily in a while is the reason why i'm feeling so glum.

i kinda feel like venting, but at the same time, i don't know what to vent about. nothing is really wrong per say, it's just one of them days (thanks Monica). i just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

i woke up at 7:30, courtesy of my phone alarm, to only walk out into rain. there is a big gray cloud and that annoying, spit-like rain that is burdening Philadelphia right now. And, its supposed to continue all weekend. i never realized how affected i am by the weather, but the weather today proved to be a HUGE boner shrinker. like, fo real (farewell, Seattle).

soo i came back to my room to then turn around and go to work to then stare at an excel spreadsheet, to then go get ignored by my spanish teacher, to then go back to work. so here's the deal with spanish: i haven't really been absent that much, but two of my absences happened to fall on the day of a quiz and the day of a test. i missed a test on monday. he reprimanded me yesterday and told me that he would have to speak to his supervisor about whether or not i could take a make-up.

patiently awaiting for the verdict is kinda killing me. i cant afford to fuck up my gpa and i feel like my freshman year, careless attitude is haunting me again. no thanks.

anyways, i have a ton of papers to do all of the sudden. and one of the papers is 20 pages and worth 80% of my grade. that's daunting.

ugh.

im done venting. its not really helping, its just making me recall all the stuff i have to do.

that's the thing, i can do the work, i can time manage and i can excel, but i have NO motivation. like, none at all. maybe a smidge, but that's it. where did my motivation go?? it was here, but now i can't seem to find it. not a good look.

im just feeling down.

Mood : Morbid :-/

boo. lame. no me gusta. tomorrow is friday and 2 of my hs friends are coming to visit, so hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

as for now...i'm gonna try to get some work done.

i would much rather take a nap.

...i just might.

Michelle! I found it!

So a while back in 2005 when I was working at Camp Nejeda (diabetes camp) my good friend Michelle and I had two ongoing alter egos: Tom Jones and Richard Simmons.

Now Michelle, being the creative and funny lady that she is,decided to make a picture of my secret love affair with Mr. Simmons.

Observe:


Now of course I thought this was pure hilarity. I didn't even need to know the context of this picture or anything because it in of itself is magic.

But lo and behold, last night I finally fucking found out where this picture came from!

I HAVE OFFICIALLY BECOME A FAN OF RICHARD SIMMONS. HE'S THE MAN.

end.

Comedic genius? Definitely. Please Watch:




Side Note: This show is aired on ABC Family.

So funny. So inapprops. So suggestive. So queer...

I love it :)

Wilford is My Homeboy

This video needs no introduction. Wilford says it all.

I WISH this was a joke...

Yes, folks. Someone actually went there.


I'm ashamed. And utterly embarrassed. This is a whole new definition of HOT MESS.

I was so proud of us. I feel like we celebrated Barack's victory in such a classy and wholesome way. But alas. Some Bonifaquitalatifah Johnson had to go do some reckless shit like polish Barack AND Michelle on her waaayy too long hoodrat nails.

Damn shame.

A noble dick...

And the magic that is Def Poetry continues. She's the bomb:

Palintology

Sooo though the election is over, I still can't really stop talking about this character Sarah Palin. Everyone and their mother was her for halloween and I personally just think she's really entertaining.

BBC news has titled this Palin sensation "Palintology" which is absolutely brilliant.

This video is a perfect example of how many people are talking about her/trying to be her. Peep the Palin impersonator standing to the right of McCain at a rally a couple of weeks ago:



HILARIOUS! She actually waves and says thank you! Hot damn

Doggie Style?

Meet Toffee:


Two Words: Tini Puppini

Wow.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

This would look ridiculous on a human, let alone a poor animal. Are they trying to inspire kids to wear this shit? Or torture their unknowing animals with this as their everyday wardrobe?

I don't know what is on the minds of the toy makers these days. Not only is the concept messed up, but the fashion itself is whack and outdated. Lets dissect this picture:

1) The glittery head band - I'm pretty sure the last time someone wore one of these was in 1996...if that. And if their going for the Auberella-headband-look...well..that doesn't work either.

2) The quaff- Between the tumor on the top of its head and the pink and white highlights...

3) The gold studded collar - bling?

4) The pseudo-leopard print shirt and the tight jeans - no comment.

5) The black platform shoes. All four of them. On a dog.

Aaaaanndd on top of all of this, the commercial is even more absurd! I tried to find it on YouTube, but no luck, so please look out for it. In the commercial, Tutu....or Toffee exclaims "I love my tail in these jeans!" Wow. Really now?

What's even worse? They named the dogs Tisha, Toffee and Tutu. And the slogan is "Unleash Your Doggie Diva." And you can even add them on facebook!

This is def that kinda thing where some 40something, geezer looking, old-school, company exec tried to push what she thought was cool on the rest of us. Who approved this?! Who even thought of this!? Who is actually gonna buy this!? Damn shame.



Now THAT'S a HOT MESS.

People have TOO much time on thier hands!

So while looking for a clip on youtube of the most infamous "bird is the word" rendition by Peter on Family Guy, I come upon this shit:

Just Say No

"Call me crazy, but I probably would've hit that"
-Sala, in regards to the woman below from Nacho Libre:

His excuse? He has a problem [sex fiend]. ...stay in school, kids.

Men in bad drag never fails.

So "The Hills According to Me" is absolutely hysterical. Obviously, only true The Hills fans would get the humor, but its really funny. When watching it, I legitimately laughed out loud. I was cracking up in my room to the point that my mom had to come in and ask what was wrong.

Please Watch:



Pure comedic genius. There's no way that the actual cast members on The Hills can't laugh at this.

And also, major kudos to the one actor who parody's all the roles. Snaps.

The Conspiracy Continues.

Stephanie will understand the title :)


Never did I ever think Porn and Politics would go in the same sentence....well...maybe not never, but still. Governor Sarah Palin, McCain's interesting and unknown VP pick has inspired a PORNO.

Yep. That's right. Sarah fucking Palin, the pro-creationism, anti-abortion, anti-polar bear, mavericky, idiotic, "MILF" has inspired a porn.

Not only that, but the title is the best part. Drum roll please....

WHO'S NAILIN' PAYLIN!?

LMAO. Seriously, the creator of that name needs to get a MAJOR raise because its simply brilliant. I'm actually really really impressed.

Hustler Porn is getting some serious increase in numbers after this one...

For the full article, via one of my fav websites, Bossip.com, please click here.

Count Your Blessings...

As I'm sitting on the couch, a preview for an TLC documentary called "Half Man, Half Tree" comes on.

No shit. I couldn't believe it. But there is, in fact, a man who has a rare condition of fucking TREE ROOTS sprouting from his body!

Mildly intrigued doesn't even cover 15% of my reaction to the preview. A man that turned into a tree???? When you think you've seen it all, some craziness like this pops up.

This makes "people" from movies like "I Am Legend" scarily realistic. Damn.

So when my mom comes home, I tell her about this madness and she has the nerve to say "I wonder if creatures live in there. Like larva." Only my mom :-/ WTF!? I didn't even consider the possibility of maggots and shit growing in between his tree branch-like fingers.

Observe:



Think about the torment/pain/ridicule this man must go through everyday. Count your blessings, folks. Its not a game.

When Hollywood Attacks.

So while on my favorite website, Bossip.com, I found these lovely pictures of Aubrey O'Day--member of Danity Kane.

Now I used to love Aubrey...emphasis on used to. I thought she was pretty, fun, and extraordinarily talented..like the girl could sing, without a doubt.

Here's a clip of her audition for Making The Band 3, waaaaay back in the day. At this point, I loved her. I thought she was the underdog whose determination and drive was so admirable. Therefore, she deserved success.



Little did I know that as time went on, she would get worse and worse. Hollywood really got to her, I mean Aubrey looks like a completely different person. Not only that, but her ego is massive. I feel sad for her, she's never gonna get that pure, cute, innocent Aubrey look back, not after all the surgery she's been through. Observe:


I mean, come on. The hair, the hair color, the boobs, the nose, the lips, the cheek bones. Its just sad. And here lies the problem- Hollywood. When some people finally make their way into the limelight, they run with it and end up looking like this:


Kudos to Aundrea, Shannon, Dawn, and D Woods for not letting the hype get to them. Now I totally understand when Diddy gets on Aubrey for just being too much. That's what she is. She's just too much. If she toned down everything maybe 5 notches, she would be so much more like-able and relate-able. Her natural sex appeal was evident when she first started Making The Band, hence why she got magazine shoots like this:


But I guess the need for her to amp up this appeal spiraled out of control, resulting in shit like this:

Two Words: HOT MESS

Get it together, Aubrey. We miss the natural you...

BTW - Brandy is making a comeback? And Biggie's movie is coming out? Throwback, fo real fo real.

Damn son

This is an actual legit wedding. This is the bride and the groom and below is their court.

Really now? Are you serious? Come one now, black people. Let's get it together. SMH.

I'm embarrassed for them.

And I believe its just God hugging us closer.

Probably THE BEST SNL skit yet.

Oh Sarah Palin, you provide us with some much needed humor these days. Thanks for that.

Please watch!

Stewie + 2 Girls 1 Cup

LMAO.

Palin's Baby Daddy is BLACK!?

So apparently Brsitol Palin caught a case of jungle fever.

If this is true, I'd freak the fuck out. The Republicans are all over the place. I don't know if this guy is just trying to gain some fame or if its true, either solution is possible, but if he's for real, I can't wait to see how the media eats this shit up.

LMAO. Is it wrong for me to say that this made my day? Because it did...

Yo Xiguang. You wanna hit this?

"An Asian elephant that became addicted to heroin after being fed bananas spiked with the drug is to return home after undergoing a detox program.

The four-year-old animal, called Xiguang, received methadone injections for a year at five times the human dosage, state media said.

It was illegally captured by traders in 2005 in south-west China.

When police arrested the traders and freed the elephant, it was found to be suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

The elephant's eyes kept streaming and he made continuous trumpeting noises, the Beijing News newspaper's website reported.

It is thought that the traders fed the elephant bananas laced with heroin to capture and control it.

Xiguang was sent to a wild animal protection centre on Hainan island in south-west China for rehab, the official Xinhua new agency said

He is expected to arrive at a wildlife park in Kunming, capital of Yunnan province, on Saturday.

The Asian elephant is an endangered species, with only 25,600-32,750 left in the wild, according to the WWF conservation group."



Wow. I wish this was a joke.

Die, dinero.

I really do. Money is one of the main reasons for my unfortunate stress right now. I just came back from the dentist only to find out that my insurance covers nothing and I'm going to be spending over $4,000 on all the dental work that I want.

I thought it was a good idea to go for the natural hair look, so I got dreads. BAD MOVE. I'm getting my hair re-twisted soon and that is apparently going to be $390. Then, my drivers classes are $215. Then I want some more tattoos and piercings which are $75+ each. Then, my insurance requires a co-pay so all my doctors appts are $40 a pop. Plus, outstanding school bills for both college and boarding school, and books.

THEN I want to take this time off to go play with my friends at their colleges so I've decided to visit DC, Syracuse, and Chicago...and maybe California..which is going to be another shit-ton of money. Doubt its gonna happen...

I hate money. It's a burden not having any and it's tempting when you have too much. Whenever I have a certain amount of dollars in my bank account I just want to spend spend spend. I don't even have enough money in my account to buy an unlimited metrocard.

I have a few things that are not priorities that I would like to spend money on, but the fact is, I can't even afford doctors appts.

Times are hard.

I'm truly living the life of a bum right now and it sucks. And the worst part is that I've been trying. I really have.

I've been financially independent for so long now that its hard having to resort back to a fucking weekly allowance. And it really hurts my pride.
I hate money.

Another thing- Why doesn't anyone accept pennies? I have sooo many pennies and I can't use them anywhere. yea, I can go to the bank and turn them in for some cash or something, but I never have time to collect them all and just do it. I might have to now since my pennies might be the only thing that saves me.

FUCK!

The thought of money is so daunting. I will never understand people who spend 5 grand on a purse.

Step 1 - Job

PS - I feel like all my posts get labeled under "Hot Mess." That's not good. Time for change.

Drill Baby, Drill.

Drill Baby, Drill. That was the chant of the audience at this years' Republican National Convention.

Wow. The Republican National Convention is so inexcusably ignorant its scary. I am ashamed and disgusted that Rudy Giuliani was once my mayor.

All this convention is doing is bashing Barack Obama. Giuliani said "he is the most unexperienced presidential candidate in the past 100 years." Wow. Really? Really now? In the past 100 years!?!

IF THE ONLY EXPERIENCE YOU CAN REFER TO IS JOHN MCCAINS' MILITARY BACKGROUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS CREDENTIALS AREN'T THAT GREAT EITHER.

Don't get me wrong, it is very admirable to be apart of the military, and it is especially commendable to be a prisoner of war survivor, but that is all they are talking about! THAT IS ALL THEY TALK ABOUT. "Yay McCain! He will be a fine commander in chief! That's the kind of guy I want in the White House! He has been to war! Not many congressmen can say that!"

Newsflash - being the Commander In Chief is only one of the roles the President has to play.



FUCK THE GOP! Why do people constantly associate inexperience with incompetence? I don't get it. Let's do the math - JFK (one of America's greatest Presidents) had 13 years of experience under his belt when he got elected, and Obama, if elected, will have 12 ( he served in the Illinois state senate for 8 years before joining the US senate in 2004).

Personally, I think Obama's "lack of experience" is a good thing. He is not tainted and he is not corrupt. He hasn't let the true colors of politics shine through his pure visions and ruin his political future.

He's fresh.

Obama is to a fresh picked apple as McCain is to a wilting, brownish green, rotting flower. Once was pretty and looked promising, but has turned ugly and unpopular after all the negative impact of its environment. McCain is washed out. McCain is old school. McCain is such a war monger that I'm sure nothing else will be paid attention to.

If McCain is elected, its gonna be the past 8 years all over again. De javu? I'll pass...

They keep talking about how Obama has changed his mind on certain issues. Giuliani just had the nerve to say "Senator Obama, if you can't make up your mind on something, call John McCain." Pathetic.

Guess what-people have the right to change their mind. First off, they exaggerated how much he actually changed his mind on certain issues, and secondly, even when he did change his mind, that means he acknowledges that he was wrong. By changing your views on certain things, that means you have been better informed about the other side, you agree with this new found info, and now you want to support it. That means you are a good politician because you listen to all points of view and make a well thought out decision! By having one stance on an issue no matter what, just so you won't seem flip-floppy, there is no room for growth.

The only way I can describe the RNC is a good ole' boy hoe down. Seriously. The entire audience and the keynote speakers are just cracking jokes on the Democrats, splappin' their knees, and chanting bullshit. It's sad. It's unacceptable. It's laughable. I can't even take this thing seriously.

I feel like the DNC was much more positive and discussed plans for the future. They didn't bash the opponents and make jokes that undercut the reputation of the contenders. They took the HIGHER ROAD and discussed their promises and how they were going to follow through.

Bashing. Undermining. Lying. I think that's a pretty clear summary of the 2008 RNC.

Giuliani just called Sarah Palin, Senator Palin. Idiot.

Sarah Palin just suggested suspending habeas corpus for all suspected terrorists and had the nerve to bash Obama wanting to enforce THE BILL OF RIGHTS.

WHAAAAATTT!?! What is going on with the world?

Why are the rich white male elite STILL running the country? Don't get it twisted, Mrs. Palin, the ONLY reason your unknown ass was even chosen is BECAUSE OF YOUR VAGINA. The McCain campaign has admitted to choosing her in hopes of gaining all the feminists that were disappointed when Hilary did not get the nomination. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON. The Republican party is the perfect visual description of can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Palin's speech just ended and truthfully, props to Governor Palin. Though she had some unnecessary comments, I was expecting a lot more bashing on her part towards Obama, but she decided not to. Good. If she did, I would've had a field day since he just fucking stood up for your daughter's teenage pregnancy...so whoever is on her camp and advised her to steer clear of the rude remarks, kudos to them. Giuliani on the other hand, ODed on the insults.

I found a really cool and informative video on Swing States. Its kinda long, but good.



RSN - In entertainment news, I watched the premiere episode of the 11th season of America's Next Top Model.

I feel like as this show has gone on, Tyra has felt a need for a theme of the season to spice things up. This season they decided on a futuristic theme and it is unfortunately corny. From bad special effects, to bad hair-don'ts, its just tragic. Tyra's nickname was T-bot and Ms. Jay is Alpha J. The bad puns and the even worst robot impersonations makes me worry about how the rest of the season is going to pan out.

The contestants are not as bad as the theme. My favorite is Sheena -- a half Japanese,half Korean girl from Harlem. She's pretty, she's tall and she's straight out of dipset. Hilarious.

There's another girl from France who has an innocent quirk to her that makes her unique. There's a girl Elina who is super chill and very comfortable with who she is -- she has an unidentified sexual orientation and an equally confusing racial background at first glance.

But the most dynamic character is THE TRANNY!! Yes, there is a tranny who is pre-op (translation: she still has a penis) and she is fabulous. She had one of the best pictures and she doesn't let everyone else's ignorance get in her way so yay for trannies :)